For internet giant Amazon, entry into the world of gaming has been far from ordinary and their terms and conditions for software use are just as odd…

The new Amazon gaming service Lumberyard allows you to create your own worlds and characters instead of using predesigned maps but oddly, while Amazon software is strictly not permitted for use in hospitals, the military, or even on space craft they have made one exception. According to the company’s official terms and conditions, “The restriction will not apply in the event of the occurrence (certified by the United States Centers for Disease Control or successor body) of a widespread viral infection, transmitted via bites or contact with bodily fluids, that causes human corpses to reanimate and seek to consume living human flesh, blood, brain or nerve tissue and is likely to result in the fall of organized civilization.”

In plain English, this means that in the event of a genuine zombie apocalypse (which could happen any day now, of course!) use of the Amazon custom gaming program becomes fair game anywhere!!! Check out the Lumberyard website for more information.

Those funny Apple people also had a bit of a laugh with page 46 of their Terms and Conditions, making the assumption that no one ever reads these long lists of dos and don’ts. Here’s how theirs goes:

3.Transfer. You may not rent, lease, sell, redistribute or sublicense the iOS software. You may however (a)

Oh you know what? This is page 46, nobody’s still reading this. I bet only about five people clicked to read the T&Cs in the first place – we might as well just say anything we like.

Tony on floor 5 of Apple HQ smells of sardines

When someone sends a funny email around the offices we have to reply with iLaughed. It’s in our job description.

Remember that legal kerfuffle over Apple and Apple studios? Want to know how we fixed it? We bought the Beatles. We have the surviving ones come to sing for us for scraps. We’re looking at ways to reanimate the dead ones.

The canteen only sells apple products. Apples, apple juice, apple flapjacks, toffee apples. We get fired if we’re caught eating anything without apples in it. I’M ALLERGIC TO APPLES AND I’M ALWAYS SO HUNGRY.

We faked the moon landings. Did it in 2008, then brainwashed you all to believe it happened in 1969, just because we could. If anyone finds out I’ve leaked this information, I’ll be killed. But no one will ever, ever read this.

By Erica Barnes